This Is Africa

My last year as a Resident Advisor, my lady’s used to say, “TIA”.  It was short for, “This is awkward.”  We would say it everywhere…  At the farmer’s market when you happened to see you religious studies professor belly dancing.  When you would reach for your towel after showering only to realize that someone moved it to the opposite rack.  When the fire alarm would sound as you are undressing to get in the shower.  These all qualify as TIA situations.  Little did I know this saying would come up again 9,548 miles away from Chico.  Except it now stands for, “This is Africa.”  For example…

Traffic signs exist warning you of elephants crossing.

In a place where anything grows, people choose to eat the same diet of matooke, posho, potatoes, and rice.  Every single day.

A five-person taxi does not necessarily mean five people.  The driver will easily get ten passengers, not including babies, plus a flock of chickens in the trunk.

The meat you want to get for dinner hangs by rope down on the street corner with a swarm of flies circling it.  When you choose what piece you want it’ll be chopped by a machete, which has probably never been cleaned.

You fear that the goat in the trunk is eating its way through your bags of fresh produce from the market or your package full of American food.

A trip that could, and quite frankly should, take thirty minutes, can also take two hours.

A morning run results in a parade of children following you.

Boda bodas zip their way through town with three men and three sheep strapped to the back.

Showing your knees is committing a huge fashion and culture no-no but letting your breasts hang free is no big deal.

Honking the horn for obscene lengths of time, for no reason at all is completely acceptable.

A perfectly acceptable topic of conversation is about ones bowel movements.

Rain will stop everyone’s activity and you will not move until it passes. 

Adult men know every word to every Celine Dion song and will serenade you whenever possible.

Women whip out their breasts wherever to feed their 2-month old or two-year old, including when you are sitting on their lap in a taxi.

Bedazzled jeans are worn by all.

If you think I can make this stuff up feel free to book a ticket and I will show you.