She & Him

Gender roles are more rampant here than ever.  They are embedded into ones culture and traditions.  This is why I enjoy teaching this so much in my life skills curriculum.  Boys will tell you that it is impossible for females to climb trees and that they do not have what it takes to sweep.  They are in for quite a shock when I hand them a broom and ask them to sweep the dust-covered floor or when we go outside and watch a girl climb up the mango tree like she’s done it every day.  Culture says that females cannot wear trousers but it is not a matter of should they or could they; it is a matter of can they.  And yes… They can wear trousers. 

In America, we are slowly working past this.  We recognize that boys and girls can essentially do anything that the other can.  This includes driving motorcycles, lifting weights, painting, working at a salon, drinking alcohol, cooking, braiding hair, changing diapers, and playing football.  Hopefully we all know there are some things that women will never be able do and the same for men.  I am talking biology, anatomy, and physiology.

Now wait a second.  America might have moved past gender roles but what about gender norms.

In America, as newborns are being swaddled in blue or pink blankets, we are down at the hospital gift shop buying balloons and trinkets in the corresponding color.  From day one, and even before if we are aware of the sex of a baby; we are inherently buying items that we think belong to boy or a girl. 

Tonka trucks or Barbie dolls? 

Overalls or ruffled dresses?

Now do not get me wrong, not all of America is like this but come on.  Admit it.  If your friend were to deliver to a baby boy, would your first thought be to buy the pink picture frame?

I thought so. 

Well, not in Uganda, which is incredibly ironic based on their deeply embedded perceptions on gender roles.  I cannot tell you how many times I have held babies in dresses who turned out to be a boy, seen male boda boda drivers pass by wearing pink beanies, or watched a secondary school male student pick out a glittery, Hannah Montana backpack from the local shop.

If this was seen in America, many people might take a second look at that male, stating things about him that might not be true.  In America we are so tied down to what is gender appropriate when it comes to looks and the media that when we see something different we are thrown off-guard and we are not quite sure how to digest it. 

Nothing about this picture screams baby girl, 

well maybe the furry bear outfit, and when 

the parents told me they were going to give it a 

second name of Tara, after me, I simply assumed... 

Wrong that is.

Another observation I have noted in Uganda is their lack of care when it comes to identifying males and females.  Everyone is a “him” or a “he”.  Until I met my host sister, I thought she was a boy based on the pronouns my host mom and host brother spoke of.  Ugandans at large will often describe people in masculine pronouns and it is not until you meet the individual that you find out if they are male or female. 

If the “he” you are meeting is a baby or a student in primary school, you have a fifty percent shot of guessing correctly.  They have yet to go through puberty and their hair is shaved. 

I forgot.  For primary school students you do have an edge up… If their uniform is a skirt, it is a girl, trousers, a boy. 

If we could only merge America and Uganda… Uganda could take some of America’s support in women’s empowerment and equality and America could take some of Uganda’s appreciation of lack of specificity when it comes to colors and clothing assigned to males and females. 

See.  We do have a lot to learn from one another.