Let’s Talk About Sex Baby

Youth in Uganda are among some of the youngest in the world, with 77% of the population being under 30 years.  There are 7,310,386 youth aged 15-24 years living in the Pearl of Africa.

From the north to the south and from the east to the west, from the urban capital city to the isolated Bwindi Impenetrable Forest, youth are everywhere.  Due to this, a lot of Peace Corps Volunteers work with the population instilling life skills.

But what exactly are life skills? 

Simply put they are skills that help us live safe and healthy lives.

We live in a complex society. Every day, people interact with other people, with their inner selves, and with their environment. These interactions are often times challenging and as we go navigate through life, we develop the skills and knowledge to face these challenges. Teachers, parents, Peace Corps Volunteers, and other role models help to pass these skills and knowledge to the youth.

However, education in the UG focuses on giving only the knowledge needed to face the challenges of life - not the skills needed for one to use the knowledge. This leaves a gap between information and behavior change; a gap that can lead to dangerous consequences for young people.

A good example is the HIV/AIDS epidemic; most youth know the dangers and the ways to prevent it, but still do not change their behavior to avoid risky situations. 

This is where I come in!

Throughout my two and a half years in country, I have worked with youth facilitating sessions on everything from self-esteem and self-awareness to business skills and reproductive health.  Funny thing is, no matter what topic we are discussing we always end up talking about sex.

Having positive self-esteem leads to questions about taking a husband or wife, which leads to questions about condom use.

Having business skills leads to caring for a family, which leads to family planning.

Reproductive health leads to knowing ones body, which leads to endless questions about sex and me feeling like that guy Adam Savage on MythBusters.

I thought I’d take this time to share some of the common questions I get from my youth when we talk about HIV/AIDS, reproductive health, and of course, sex.

One note on language.  In Uganda it is very common to hear people say “playing sex”.  Some Volunteers do not mind this but for me I always set one of our community agreements to be that when we talk about sex, we say, “having (or has) sex” or “going for sex”. 

Sex is not a game people.

Here we go…

If I am playing sex using the withdrawal method I cannot get pregnant, right?

My auntie and Priest told me that condoms cause cancer.

Condoms do not fit African men, that is why we have so many children.

What are the signs of pregnancy?

I was told that your people poke holes in condoms and send them to our country.

Is it true that when candida (yeast infection) stays for long in your body it becomes AIDS?

If a man is putting on a condom, will both the man and woman feel sweetness when they are having (sex)?

Why do men rape animals and young girls?

What if a woman uses a female condom everyday, does the vagina also increase in size?

What if I want to have sex with a man and I take one Panadol (equivalent to Tylenol) before having sex, can I get pregnant?

What about if I take four Panadol before sex.  I cannot get pregnant or get HIV right?

What is sexual harassment?

How does defilement differ from adultery?

Those methods of family planning they say they cause one to produce children who are lacking some parts like legs, hands, and ears.  So I think that there are not really good at all.  Is this true?

Is it true that if women have sex during their MP (menstrual period) they cannot get pregnant?

If a man urinates on my (sanitary) pad before sex, I will not get pregnant.

If I jump up and down after sex the sperm will leave my body and I will not become pregnant.  Is it true?

If a mosquito bites a person infected with HIV and then comes to bite me, I now have HIV.

What is virginity?

If I wash my vagina with Omo (laundry detergent) or with Coca-Cola after sex I will not get HIV or get pregnant.

What are my safe days?  Safe days are what many Ugandans refer to as the days you cannot get pregnant during your monthly cycle.  Answer: No safe days!

All HIV testers and counselors are positive so I do not want to get tested as I fear them giving me the HIV.

Is it true that the whites brought HIV to Africa for population control?

Some people are immune to the HIV, not so?

If you get HIV, you die immediately. 

Many people in my community tell me you can get cured by a witch doctor or by divine intervention.  What do you think?

There is no discordance in Uganda.  Discordance is when couples go for testing and one is found positive while the other is negative, often resulting in unfaithfulness. 

The testing kits do not work because they are too simple.  You just take little blood.  In actuality, the tests are incredibly effective and there are multiple ones in case you get a false positive.

Is it true you can get HIV from…

- Sharing clothes with an infected person?

- Sharing beds with an infected person?

- Sharing cups and silverware with an infected person?

- Having bad manners and behaving poorly?

- Shaking hands with an infected person?

Is it true that eating pork will cure someone of the HIV?

Your people are giving us ARVs and so it is treatable.

I have heard of some of these in the States before much Uganda is definitely topping the list of crazy HIV and sex myths.

This is why we work to empower the youth using life skills.  Through self-esteem and communication and teamwork, the generation of tomorrow will be able to overcome all of these and educate others.

Remember… Wrap it before you tap it!